Tomorrow is the Great Cape May Footrace and I am running my first 10k. I feel kind of wimpy being so nervous. It’s only 6.2 miles – but I’ve actually only done this distance 4 times. If this were a little less than a year ago, I would be blogging about my nerves for my first ever 2 mile race ( in which I ended up winning my age division), so it’s not so much about the distance but rather the unknown.
Last fall I think I burned myself out with races because I got to the point where I just wanted to win. It wasn’t fun. And while winning IS fun, this year I just want to focus on challenging myself rather than beating the guy next to me (but in the back of my mind, my ridiculous mini me is saying push it Morgan, push it, you can make yourself go faster to beat that guy next to you) .
This 10k has already been a challenge for me. Definitely more so mentally than physically – I know I can run this distance. But for the past week my mind has been running around the idea that I’ll come in last (here comes my mini me). I know that the goal here is to finish – this Summer I want to run (not necessarily win) a 10k race, a beach race, and make the 10 mile trip to the lighthouse and back – but there’s always that little voice telling me that even if I finish, if I’m last, it’s not good enough. I’ve been playing such a mind game with myself that I have told Josh at least three times that I’m going to switch to the 5k. Doing exactly what I do when I’m running a race and want to walk, I’ve been creating reasons (excuses) why I shouldn’t do this run.
- I just got new shoes and they’re not broken in enough.
- This is a big race and there are going to be a lot of great runners whose way I’ll be in.
- It’s only May, I have a lot of time to find a different 10k.
- It’s going to be too cold (I’m a running weather snob).
But luckily, I knew I’d do this and planned ahead. I preregistered about 3 weeks ago and I posted a blog on how excited I am to be running this race – I’m not backing out after I made it blog official!
So tomorrow morning, cold weather or not, come 9 am I will be running my first 10k. My stomach will be weak, my hands will be clammy, my breath will be short, but I’ll be on the starting line. And by 10 am (my goal is to finish within an hour) I will be crossing the finish line – blistered feet and all.
It’s actually this exact reason as to why I love running. The mental challenge. It’s the easiest way to show yourself that you can overcome pain and exhaustion but most of all, fear.
THIS is living. I have never felt a better feeling than when I do something that I am afraid to do. It’s not just running. It’s challenging yourself. It’s knowing that you can honestly do anything that want to do. You have to really want it – but if you do, it’s yours. And during the times that I don’t want it enough, I have never felt worse. Which is why most of the time, I want it too much.
Hopefully tomorrow I’ll be reporting to you that I finished in record time (here comes my mini me again) and took at least the 3rd place finish for my age. But if I can’t, at least I can put the first check mark on my to do list.
Just for fun I’m going to share my play list for the race.
Sex On Fire – Kings of Leon (ultimate starting song!)
Under Pressure – Queen and Bowie
1234 – Feist
Girl – Beck
I Gotta Feeling – Black Eyed Peas
All is Love – Where the Wild Things Are soundtrack
Sugar We’re Going Down – Fall Out Boy
Mr. Brightside – The Killers
Mushaboom – Feist
You Get What You Give – New Radicals
High And Dry – Radiohead
I Like To Move It – Madagascar 2 soundtrack
Hey Soul Sister – Train
The Underdog – Spoon
When you were young – The Killers
Dani California – Red Hot Chili Peppers
So What – Pink (ultimate finishing song! – may have to skip ahead to get to it! 😉 )
Wish Me Luck!