Oh geeze. Well besides giving birth 3 times, which inarguably leaves you with nothing left to be embarrassed about, I can think of a few embarrassing moments. Josh brings up the time in high school when my basketball team was running a final drill at practice, while all the varsity boys sat watching, and I fell flat out on my face. That was embarrassing but it was also funny.
No, that time was not quite as cringe worthy for me as the few other blows to my ego that are stored away in the back of my mind only to resurface every so often.
The first memory that always pops up anytime someone talks about embarrassing moments, occurred while on vacation. Just like food tastes better when you’re on vacation and sleep feels better when you’re on vacation, embarrassment is even more humiliating when you’re on vacation. After an awesome summer trip to New York City, we decided to end our week long tour by spending a day in Coney Island. Josh and I had stayed with his aunt Lisa and all three of us hopped on a train to head to the beach. Upon arriving, the very first attraction we saw were the bumper boats. It was a hot day and the ride looked like fun so we all paid the fare and jumped in a boat. Inevitably, Josh attacked and we ended up completely soaked. I don’t remember exactly, but I feel like I was drenched more than the others. We were the first off of the boats and just as we were beginning to step down the stairs to exit the ride, the attendant announced loudly to be cautious because the stairs get slippery. Simultaneous to the man saying these words, my foot slipped on my slippery, wet flip flop (not the damn stairs!) and the shoe broke, leaving me to continue on down the stairs without feet underneath. Now I know plenty of people have fallen down stairs and it doesn’t sound like such a big deal. But picture being clothed, yet soaking wet, with blood pouring down your back, only wearing one shoe, while a carnival worker glares at your dumb ass because he just told you to watch your step, in the middle of a summertime tourist attraction. It was brutal. The only positive that I can draw from that experience is that I will forever have a souvenir from Coney Island. A giant scar on the middle of my back.
Most of my embarrassing memories come from a place of feeling stupid. Those moments when you say something and then immediately want to smack your head because you know how dumb you just sounded. Yeah. I feel like I do that a lot. One completely random conversation that elicits that kind of reaction happened almost 6 years ago when Josh was in bootcamp. His grandmother was turning 80 and everyone had gotten together to celebrate. Once again, Lisa was there and had brought a friend whom I had never met. After being introduced, we started having small talk and she asked me if I knew where we were moving once Josh graduated. I said Fire Island, NY and expressed how excited we were about our placement. She asked me what I knew about Fire Island, which left me kind of dumbfounded as I realized I didn’t really know anything about it, so I replied with “Well, it’s really close to Amityville, NY, so we’ll get to see the real Amityville Horror house. So that’s cool.” and immediately I started breaking out in hives while her face went completely blank and she politely nodded before walking away. Thinking about this now makes me crack up laughing because it was just SO stupid. That was the best I could muster? Why didn’t I just explain that I didn’t know much about Long Island but was excited to be moving near the city and to the beach? Why didn’t I explain that I had lived in Ohio for 90% of my life so moving to another state was a huge adventure? Why in the hell, was the Amityville Horror house the first thing that popped into my head when asked about leaving home to start a new life? I truly don’t know but I know that I will never forget that conversation with a woman whose name I can’t remember. Ha! Thinking about this really makes me giggle.