Trying to stay together.

Last weekend I wrote that we’re moving again and we 100% still are. I wrote that we had made the decision to move back to our hometown in Ohio and we 100% had. But throughout last week I had terrible thoughts about how sad my life would be without Josh in it everyday. And then I thought about how upset I’d be if we lived half of the time away from each other while Josh has this amazing schedule only to have him get stuck on a boat (2 months in, 2 months out) after this tour. And then I thought about Josh living in (essentially) a dorm, with a room mate, eating microwave dinners and driving 12 hours every weekend to come home to us and then return to NY. The kids would be fine, but Josh and I?

He continued to reassure me that I was over thinking the situation but I couldn’t shake feeling sad anytime I thought about us willingly living separately, even if it’s just three days a week, so I insisted that we look further into moving to the suburbs. Manhattan has some fabulous surrounding places to live – if you have a 7 figure net worth. So in order to find an affordable neighborhood, we’d have to push our geographic limits further than we had before. This is one of the reasons we had decided on Ohio. Josh’s logic is, “If I have to have a two hour commute to work in the morning, and a two hour commute home in the afternoon, why not just move back to Ohio where we’ll reap so many other benefits and I’ll have less time spent on a commute, all added together.” Of course that makes sense and I know that a crazy commute will suck for him but at least he’ll be home with us every night. I mean my logic is, if he has to make a crazy commute either way, he may as well make it home to his family every night. So we spent Saturday morning sipping our coffee as we once again researched suburbs. After several hours we agreed on an on paper love for a few small towns in Connecticut. We decided our next step was to make the trip up to check out the area first hand, so we loaded the kids in the van and headed north.

We pushed it about 60 miles from Battery Park (where Josh works) to the towns of Weston, Easton, Redding, Fairfield and Milford. There’s a direct train from Fairfield to Penn Station so Josh’s total commute would be a short drive (possibly a walk), an hour and 15 minute train ride followed by a nearly 30 minute subway ride. It’s definitely no joke but he’s willing to do it if it’s what I prefer. Though he’s not thrilled about the length of time he’d have to spend on transportation, he fell in love with the little towns. Outside of the commute, the area is fantastic. The schools are incredible, the towns are quaint New England towns bordering the Long Island Sound and the location is perfect. We’d still have easy access to the city as well as an easy two hour drive to Providence and Boston. We’d also still only be seven hours away from home.

So here’s where we are now. Next weekend we plan to look into a few small towns surrounding Princeton, NJ. We also plan to go back up to CT at some point so we can look further into specific neighborhoods within each town. After we finish narrowing down in which community we’d prefer to live, we’re going to start watching for houses. We don’t plan to move until after Christmas because we’d still like to experience NY during the holidays and also because moving during the holidays would be too difficult. After the New Year, if a house opens up in one of the areas we love and can afford we’ll look into renting it but there is still one issue that could hold us back. One of the problems we came across when we looked into living in the Manhattan suburbs before was what renters expect from their tenant in order to secure the house. Aside from first and last month’s rent, we could also possibly be expected to give a security deposit or even pay a realtor fee. With the price of a three bedroom rental in this part of the country being at $2,000 – $3,000 (and up!!!!), we could not afford to give $6,000 + up front, on top of once again paying to move ourselves. So we’ve decided to set summertime as the deadline for when we give up hope of finding a way to stay together and just move our family back to Ohio. Obviously nothing is set in stone and we’re playing this entire thing by ear but we’re just trying to figure out what would be the absolute best thing for our family right now. In the meantime, if anyone wants to step in and adopt Josh and I, we’d love for someone else to take over this whole “adult decisions” thing. 🙂 Hope everyone had a great weekend.


3 thoughts on “Trying to stay together.

  1. Peg and I stayed in a nice little town about 20 minutes I think north of Atlantic city called Smithville I believe , was a small little town . Nice I thought .

  2. Greenwich, CT is where I had my appendix taken out and it was a really cute little area. We lived in the northeast area of the Bronx, so I spent a lot of time in Westchester county. I’d definitely recommend looking in the area if you want to cut down on commute time. It won’t be as cute as a lot of places in CT, but there are some nice neighborhoods with access to the metro north. Eastchester, Scarsdale, Mamaroneck, Port Chester, and select areas of Bronxvile, White Plains, and Yonkers are some good places to look.

    We had to pay last months rent plus security deposit before move in and first months rent when we got the keys. and it was really hard (like drained all our savings hard), but that is just NY real estate. It’s nuts. If you do all the work yourself, you can definitely avoid brokers fees. Check out’s forums for neighborhood information. It really helped when we moved up there.

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